I Think It's Affecting Me!
by Setarip
Summary: Jack drags Will to a bar. What trouble ensues? My first EVAH story!


_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Ta-_

"Will ya bloody stop tapping the glass already!" Captain Jack Sparrow cried, earning an annoyed glare from the man sitting opposite him, Will Turner. The two men had just sent Jack's faithful first mate Gibbs on an errand of some importance. Having nothing to do until the good man got back, Jack decided he wanted a drink, and Will was dragged along.

_Thud._

_Thud._

_Thud._

Obviously, young William Turner was bored.

"William! Stop!" repeated Jack, taking on an annoyed look himself. "One more time and yer buying me another drink." he added in.

"Well, what else am I supposed to do here?!" Will shot back, becoming slightly defensively.

"Drink!"

Will's face morphed into a combination of disbelief, annoyance, boredom, and a tad bit of anger. "That's it? I sit here in this chair and just _drink?!_ That's what you call fun?"

"Welcome to the bars of the Englishmen." Was the smart reply from Jack. Usually he, too, would be acquiring annoying habits right now, if it weren't for the load that had been on his mind for the past week. But now, Gibbs was off doing the last of the work involved, and Jack took the oppurtunity to just relax. Sit down, drink, flirt, and enjoy himself.

Will groaned. "Wonderful." He moved to resume his tapping once again, but Jack sent him a frightening enough look while mouthing the word 'drink' that he thought better of it.

Bored out of his mind, Will glanced around the small, modest bar. Located on the island of Port Gored, a refined, Englishman's town, the bar was not the same as those in Tortuga. There was no real rowdiness to be found, save two men in a rather heated argument, and the place itself was relatively clean. In pirate standards, this wouldn't really even be considered a bar - more of a…refined living room.

_Not even a fist fight I could join_, thought Will, a smirk playing on his face. No, he concluded: there was nothing to do here.

Then, suddenly, something caught his eye. Swiveling his head to the right for a better view, Will watched in silent curiosity. There were two, hearty men, sitting opposite each other, chugging the contents of their mug as quickly as possible. Once the glass was sucked dry, another man, who was off to the side, would stand up and place another, equally full glass in front of the man. It was a never ending cycle of chugging, slamming, and burping.

"Why?" Will asked dumbfounded, innocence of age and upbringing shining through.

"Why what?" Jack offhandedly replied. His eyes were focused on a particularly pretty woman with a generous bosom. If he could only get her to come over here, have a drink, and, if he was lucky maybe, they could sneak upstairs for a nice…

"That." Will gestured with a tilt of his head. "Why are they doing that?"

Jack's eyes panned the bar, and finally saw what the 'whelp' was complaining about. Ah…a drinking contest. The two men were having a drinking contest.

Jack suddenly realized Will had asked what that was. He didn't know? "You've never seen 'at? What' they're doing…you've never seen that before?"

A shake of Will's head was all the reply Jack needed.

"Really? Oh, well they're just seeing who can drink the most without passin' out."

Will digested the information. "…So it's a drinking game?"

"Yeah, basically."

Brief topic ended, there was again nothing to do.

Until, of course, a rather evil thought entered Jack's rather evil mind. "Hey whelp…wanna try it?"

"Excuse me?" was the surprised answer.

"You 'eard me. You an' me; a drinking game." Oh yes; evil mind. Poor Will almost never drank, save a few sips and a bottle here and there. Jack, on the other hand, drank regularly, and even participated in a few of these drinking contests; once he even won. The chances of Jack winning were higher than the Black Pearl's mast.

"Uhhh, Jack. I'd really rather not." It seemed that the whelp was no idiot; he, too, must've figured out the odds.

"What? Are you a sissy then?" Oh, playing dirty now!

"Me? I'd like to think not."

"Then play!"

"No!"

"Sissy!"

"Cheater!"

"C'mon!"

"Fine!"

"Wimp, Sissy, GIRL!" Jack paused. "Wait…fine?"

"Mm-hmm." Will answered, slightly amused.

Jack's face brightened, and an evil smirk plastered itself across his rugged features. "Well then, before ya change yer mind...Hey you! Sexy! C'mere!"

The lady whom Jack had his eye on earlier came sauntering over, seductive smile aimed right at Jack. Reaching the table where Will and Jack sat, she stopped, and posed in such a way that she appeared somewhat modest, yet still had her 'assets' featured. Jack was more taken than before. _Maybe we could skip the drink and go right upstairs..._

"And what can I help you with, sir?" she asked smoothly, eyes still on Jack.

Jack's smile grew. "Me an' mah friend here want to have a drinking contest. Would it be too much if you could help us?"

"Beer or rum?" The answer was yes, then.

"Beer," Will said quickly.

"Rum," countered Jack. Turning to give Will a look, he repeated, "Rum."

"Rum it is. I'll be right back, then." She replied saucily. She headed towards the barrels of drink, hips swaying back and forth. Jack watched her all the way.

Soon she was back, dozens of mugs on a tray. Setting them down carefully on a nearby table, she took two from the group and placed them in front of the two men. Jack gripped his wooden handle knowingly, whereas Will stared at it, somewhat regretting his answer.

"Ready?"

"Ready," Jack and Will said in unison, though one voice was steadier than the other.

"Start!"

Jack's arm jerked up immediately to his face, pouring the alcohol down his throat, barely tasting it. Will crossed himself quickly, then brought the beaten mug to his lips, trying to match Jack's expert actions.

_I'm in for a rough ride…_ Will thought grimly.

**FIVE MINUTES INTO THE GAME**

"Hit me baby!" The woman quickly swept away the empty glass and replaced it.

Will slammed his glass down breathlessly. "Hit me." She repeated her actions for Will, minus the small amount of flirting she always added for Jack.

When he saw Will had his new glass, Jack resumed his inhaling of the liquid. Will followed suit, only he was a bit more civil about the whole thing.

All in all, Jack was doing well: no dizziness yet, no stomachache yet, and, most importantly, no unconsciousness yet! Will, surprisingly, was not doing too bad either. Though he a bit more tired, he still had yet to feel the effects of alcohol. And, it was his fifth glass already.

**TEN MINUTES INTO THE GAME**

"Hit me!" Jack got a new mug, as did Will. "So, how ya doing Will, me boy? Feeling a bit…dizzy yet?" he couldn't help but ask.

"No actually. I'm ok. How are _you_ doing?" Will replied, savoring the slightly dumbfounded look that had planted itself on Jack's face.

Jack's eyes narrowed. "It's on."

Both raised their eleventh glass to their lips and chugged.

The woman laughed quietly to herself. "Men."

**FIFTEEN MINUTES INTO THE GAME**

Jack was officially feeling sick. His, "Hit me," came out weaker than he had wanted, and instead of immediately shoving his face into his drink, he panted for a moment.

"How 'bout now, whelp? Feeling good?" Jack mustered all the slyness he could into the statement. He had to be the stronger one after all, the winner.

"I feel _great_."

Both chugged.

The still unnamed woman sat down in a nearby, wooden chair. Will and Jack had been going for a while now (longer than she had personally expected!), and her shoed feet began to ache.

_My my_, she thought to herself. _That young man is certainly holding his own. His eyes are barely glazed over! _She studied them briefly again. _Maybe I've been flirting with the wrong mister…_

**TWENTY MINUTES INTO THE GAME**

"Fifteenth done….hit me!" was Jack's barely audible call. Will's cup slamming on the table also represented the fact his glass was empty.

"How y'all doing there?" It was the first time the woman had spoken during the drinking game. Taking the chance of a tiny break, Jack hurriedly replied something like, "I'm doin' great. Ima win this thing."…but she couldn't be sure. It was too slurred.

"I feel…ok. There's a slight tingling in my finger," Will replied to the question, no slurring evident in his voice. "I think it's affecting me!" he joked, pulling on Jack's chain.

"Oh my!," The girl played along the joke. "You'll be out soon for sure."

"I tol' ya 'e can' 'old 'is 'liquor!" Jack hiccupped.

With that being said, both men returned to their drinks.

**TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES INTO THE GAME**

"Twenty…..first…done…hit…..me…."

_THUD!_

Finishing off his twenty first 'hit' as well, Will put the mug down and peered over the table to see how Jack was. Being a bit more stable (and not intoxicated), the woman hosting the contest rushed from her perch on the chair she stationed herself in over to Jack's side. The two stared at Jack for a long moment, waiting with held breath.

He didn't move. Not a finger, not a toe, not an eyelash.

"…He's done!" She turned to face Will. "You win."

Will didn't move a long moment, his mind trying to wrap itself around the information he was just given. But within thirty seconds a huge, lopsided grin broke out across his face, and he laughed. His tingling finger danced around a bit.

"I won! I won! I beat Jack Sparrow!" His grin grew. "HAHA! Take that!"

The woman laughed at Will's celebration. "I'll be honest and say I didn't expect you to win. I thought you had…one in a hundred chance."

Will laughed. "I'll be honest too, and say I thought I had one in a million chance!" He danced around a bit more, savoring probably a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

It was then that almighty Gibbs chose to enter, documents he was sent to retrieve in hand. Seeing Will celebrating in a rather dorky way, and then seeing his very own Captain on the floor, he was somewhat frightened.

"Will, me boy! Stop yer hoppin' and come over here to explain some things!"

Will did as he was told. "Weeeeeell, Jack and I had a drinking contest. I won!"

Gibbs burst into a fit of chuckles. "_He?_ Was beat by _you?_ DAHAHAHAHA!"

"It's true," confirmed the woman.

"Really?" Two nods from two different heads were his response.

"HA! Jack got beat by WILL! JACK! You got beat by Will! JACK! JACK! HAHA! JACK SPARROW…"

"JACK! WAKE UP!"

Captain Jack Sparrow's head jerked up from its resting spot on the wood table. Seeing Will's worried face in front of him, he screamed, "YOU DIDN'T BEAT ME! No! YOU CHEATED!"

Will's face grew more concerned. "Jack? What are you talking about? I didn't beat you at anything. You were sleeping!"

Jack drew a blank. "Sleeping?"

"Yeah…sleeping." Will eyed his friend carefully. "You must have had a dream or something."

Jack's face didn't change. "Yeah…a dream. A dream! It was all a dream. The drinking, the fainting, the losing…all a dream!" A smile appeared at his revelation.

"Right." Will went back to his own seat, looking back towards the doorway, probably searching to see if Gibbs was back yet.

"Of course it was a dream! I mean, how could _Will_ beat me at a drinking game? Psh. The boy has no chance." Jack allowed himself to chuckle a little at the thought. His chuckle, though turned to a laugh, and his laugh, in turn, turned into a guffaw.

And so, Jack was soon laughing hysterically, hands holding his aching sides, tears falling from his eyes. Scaring Will, scaring the woman (who really was there, and as good looking as ever), and scaring everyone else in the bar. But he did not stop; the thought was too funny.

"Jack, shut up you fool. Hey…why are they doing that?"

"Doing what?" Jack followed Will's pointed finger to the action in question.

It was a drinking game.

_Oh crap._


End file.
